(Some or most of you may have already read this on Myspace. Typically I post to blogger first, but I did not have ample time when it was first posted to do both. As such, I posted to Myspace first, since it would reach more of the people closest to me in a more timely manner. )
So I've had a tremendous amount of drama last week, and I'm hoping it all came to a head. My last long term boyfriend and I have had some very cataclysmic arguments in the past. I told him to take everything when we broke up, because, among other reasons, I wanted to avoid conflict. I literally kept my clothes, toiletries, and my laptop.
I'm way too trusting. I should learn to cover and look out for my own ass first and foremost. This is, obviously, easier said than done in actual application. My trusting behavior has led me to end up in this same situation on two occasions now. This lesson is costing me a lot emotionally.
Josh traded away my laptop and replaced it with the one I currently have. He retained the mechanisms to control the fate of this laptop, and has since decided that as he's hurting he needs to make me hurt as well. So by whatever strings he maintained, he's managed to force my to give up the laptop, and my only real connection with the outside world.
I am unsure of how long I will ultimately be without laptop/internet access. I will still have access to my messengers and email through my phone. Just remember those means are crude and I have to type on a numeric keypad.
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