Life (Re)Adjustments

So it's been a long, wild month. One would have thought that having known two months in advance, that I would be moving, that it might have been smooth and well planned out. If fate had seen it fit to follow the plan, perhapse that would be the case. Fate is a fickle mistress though. A petty argument with my ex, led to the loss of my laptop. A casual visit with a long-time internet friend, became something emotionally profound that I'm still struggling to process. A sendoff party, became an ocean of tears from a most unexpected source. My grand homecomming, was less than so. Now I'm here, and asking myself "what now?".
I've been back 'home' for a week and a half. The first week was spent reaquainting myself with the land in which I grew up. To say much has changed would be a lie. It's very much the same as when I left. Sure, there are more homes built in the forrests and swamps. All of which have been foreclosed upon and currently empty. The people are the same. The atmosphere, stale and musty, threatens to strangle the breath of creativity and originality from my lungs. I missed my friends from here very much, but they all have their lives and families by now. So somehow I'm even more alone now.
My family is as they have been as long as I can remember. My dad's still a cranky miser. I'm glad he doesn't seem to be drinking nearly as much, and seems more apt to retire to his room than pick fights than in times past. My grandmother, bless her heart, isn't what she once was or would like to be. Her memory is leaving her slowly. She still gets up early to do whatever chores she can manage, but the fire is gone. I cannot stay in their home too long. The environment there is domineering. I find myself feeling like a helpless child again. I'm at the whim of others and not to my own.
I have a job interview tomorow. I had been hoping to get hired on at a good sized office in Daytona or St. Augustine. Fate seems content to make me become mired in Putnam County. The sad fact is no one is hiring. It took powerful strings to pull getting an interview at all. Work is work though. Whatever I need to do to get through, is what I'll make do with.
I guess that is life as it now stands. I'm all alone in the swamp. I've done a fine job of making myself quite useless. My heart is wandering someplace far removed. At least the weather is nice...