A leave of senses..

My mind is wandering in a foreign land and I have no estimate for when it may return to me. It took leave of its restraints, rushed from the door, and fled into the night all because I met someone intriguing. My heart is being what the organ is most known for, quick to action and unbound by logic or reason or predictability. I have feelings. Why do I have feelings? Why are they so intense? Isn't that way too soon to be so attracted to someone?

Like a potent magnetic field. I felt drawn to him from the first moment of close proximity. The iron in my blood is warmed and excited by the energy of the field. In the moments when I'm near him, the world seems right. I can laugh at strange things, express weird or questionably civil topics, and not be afraid of judgement for my unconventional actions. When I'm near him, there is no over thinking, fretting, or rampant insecurity. Just enthralling cologne, perfectly random actions, amusing conversations, the wonderful taste of his lips, and a strange intoxication when we cuddle. If every moment of life could feel like that, I might be inclined to believe in a heaven.

As soon as I leave that wonderful range of attraction though, all of the negativity starts to bubble out through the semiporous mortar that binds the masonry of my brain. It threatens to erode and compromise the stability of the walls entirely. I start worrying about things that may not happen, fretting over mistakes I have not yet made, and try to qualify why someone could find me worthy. Am I deserving of something so wonderful? Is it real? Is it reciprical? Or am I just delusional ? 

My mind is sick of the illogical and unfounded fretting, and being tasked with solving problems that only exist in the aethers. And so it bid me adieu. Maybe it's for the best. If it's off being a free spirit, at least it won't cage the heart. Maybe I won't over think myself into misery, or break that wonderful magnetic field out of fear...