I am always taken by surprise when people express that I've made an impact in their life. I've always struggled with feeling like I'm a burden and that every ounce of my energy is utilized to mitigate that. So when someone genuinely expresses that I've positively impacted their life, often just by being myself visibly and authentically, it seems entirely sureal. I'm happy that I've been a positive influence. It warms my heart to know that I've helped make the world easier, warmer, safer, better for someone else. But it feels disconnected, because the things that made that happen are just me being me. Not some grand gesture, not some arduous work of altruism or suffering, just existing authentically. It's feels like I shouldn't take pride in that. It feels selfish to enjoy the gratitude. Because to me, it feels like I've done the bare minimum.
Am I too hard on myself? Are my expectations of what I should accomplish so twisted by my low self-esteem and low self worth that I can't see what I inspire and do accomplish?
No comments:
Post a Comment