Nothing makes my blood boil faster than being called a liar. I avoided COVID for over two years, and it's feels like a personal failure that I caught it now. That's not rational, of course, but my brain be damned.
The Handler caught it first, and tested positive while at a conference. His family and I joined him on a vacation post-conference, and we were assured he was outside the contagion window. I knew it was risky. I wanted to spend time with him, so I ignored the risks. Quality time has been lacking. Work, sick, obligation, repeat. So for me, any opportunity for closeness and possible physical affection is worth the risk.
5 days later I test positive. The day before beta was set to arrive for the Handler's birthday weekend. Beta responds overwhelmingly negative to the news. Demands I take another test, and claims it's bullshit. Apparently he thinks this dynamic is a competition and that I have some ulterior motive.
I took the second test and set a pic. More claims of bullshit. I explain that I don't care if he comes up regardless, that there are masks in the house etc. He says he'll bring more tests. You know, to prove I'm not lying.
So there I was, barbeque sauce on my titties... Oh wait... No it was seething rage in my head. Last night he got the accomodation and kindness. Today he'll get the whip. I won't suffer being accused of manipulation and lying, even less so when there's no logical reason for it. Own your insecurities, and control your fucking tongue.
He came in this morning, acting like it didn't happen. He wanted to make me breakfast (service as apologetic gesture?). I don't want service, gifts, or things. The best apology is changed behavior
I don't feel well, so this is probably over-the-top but at the moment I'm kinda done trying. Hopefully that is a passing feeling.
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